Sometimes there are occasions where you meet someone who is so overwhelmingly rare and stimulates your mind and touches you in ways that are undefinable. I am almost 100% sure many of you out there have experienced these ‘wow’ moments, yet felt confused about how to define your feelings for that certain someone who doesn’t seem to fit so neatly in your world view. I recently saw a special friend who hasn’t been around much and although I thought I had gotten a handle on my feelings for her and where she fits in my life, I was reminded how complicated relationships can be, whether lover or friend. In any relationship, there is give and take. People are complimentary and usually provide something to the other that meets a need, want or desire in them. Traits, characteristics, intelligence, and experiences are mutually shared and even in vanilla relationships, there is power exchange.
With November being Trans-Awareness month, I thought it might be apropos to write about this topic. I’ve had a few people ask me about the piece that got published in Minerva Rising about loving beyond gender. It was an excerpt from my memoir “Scenes from a Not-So-Ordinary Life” that I am still working on finishing. Some of my readers have shared their thoughts about this and inquired about my own experience some 16 or so years ago when I was in a relationship with a woman who had transitioned to male. It was a confusing time for me which I’m sure those of you who may be going through this now with your partner who is trans can relate to. It was the second of the five years we were together that I watched him administer injections of testosterone weekly to assist in his transition.
I recently went to GLLA’s (Great Lakes Leather Alliance) 15th Anniversary in Indianapolis. It’s one of those great events where you can reconnect with friends you haven’t seen in a while, go to the contest, workshops and enjoy the diverse play spaces offered depending on your interests. I’ve attended at least half of their 15-year event history and I keep coming back no matter where I am in my life or in my leather journey which has undergone much change through my 18 plus years. As many of my readers and extended families in and outside the community will attest, it continues to be a struggle balancing the many wondrous interests I have and the stamina it takes to keep it all together, as well as the motivation to remain in service to the community especially when you are no spring chicken. Seems I’m not the only one that has experienced this minor disconnect as I discovered that weekend.